The Love Attraction

Advocating guidance, love, and self development for couples.

The Effect of Social Media in Relationships

Nowadays social media, at least for the most of us, constitutes a big part of our daily life. For some in a positive way and for others in a negative, sometimes destructive way. Unfortunately, social media can be a double-edged sword, if used wisely it can be for our benefit, whereas misusing it might have a devastating effect on us.

An interesting observation is about social media in relationships. Starting, maintaining and ending a relationship for many couples is closely related with the usage of social media, couples are meeting online, dating virtually and in some cases even getting married. The rules of the game has changed; balance is a key part of that change to maintain a healthy and happy relationship.

The Mystery Factor

Social media, for some parts of relationships, have minimized bit by bit the mystery factor that people experience when trying to get to know each other. Back in the days, getting to know the other person whom you like or even the one you are in a relationship with, would get you for face to face conversations, going out frequently, have meaningful conversations together. Whereas nowadays, part of this might be true, yet a big part of the process which includes the mystery and fun if I may call it of discovering the other person is stripped down by researching and checking out the other person on social media.

Many tend to go on social media and check the other person profile, history, pictures, circle and we try to deduct and reason based on what we see even before having a real conversation with that person. As Ashley Knox, MSW said “[…] social media might help you to discover things about another person that perhaps you would have found out later in time if the interactions were purely in person”, and that is exactly how the enjoyable part is extracted from the relationship.

Overdoing It

Using social media is not a bad thing, at least when done in moderation and keeping a reasonable mind while doing so. The problem arises when we overuse the social media platforms. In a relationship that would be destructive and leave to drastic effects in a relationship.

Some couples spend an excessive amount of time on social network sites instead of spending it with their loved ones, on household or relationship matters, that would lead to negative impact on the relationship, and in some cases to divorces in case of marriage as described by Joshua from the AZ Family Law Lawyers.

Social Media in Relationship Comic by Drew BrockingtonComic by Drew Brockington

On another note, we see a lot of couples constantly posting love messages, confessions and pictures of their romantic activities, showing how their relationship is perfect and how they are happy together. While that might be true in some cases, in most this is totally the opposite. It would be an attempt for their to convince themselves that they are having a great and happy relationship before convincing others on the social platform.

Nikki Goldstein a sexologist describes it best: “Often it’s the people who post the most, who are seeking validation for their relationship from other people on social media“.


When couples are enjoying their time together, they live in the moment and have fun with their time together, because that time is so precious that memories can be built and stored forever to come and relive in our minds and internal library of emotions. While that is true, this doesn’t mean they cannot take couple of photos to store, or share but they both ensure that this does not take up all their time and joy, it might be shared later on, or used to laugh together while remembering the moment.

Posting too much and often about the relationship or couples moments is usually linked to insecurity in relationship based on what researchers from the Northwestern University found while surveying couples about posting on Social Media.

Paranoia and Trust

Funny enough, many couples act as detectives and their tools are facebook, instagram and other social platform. Spouces track their partners online activities and starts to get paranoid about them, if they are cheeting and having affairs. In many cases, that would be false and leads to paranoia, and in its turn to major problems and issues in the relationship.

The lack of trust, which is one of the corner stones of the relationship, leads to that kind of actions, using social media to stalk someone or your partner.

FOMO “Fear of Missing Out”

I would consider FOMO or Fear of Missing Out as one of the most critical effects of social media in relationships. Many couples can get caught up in the FOMO effect, following and tracking every update and news on the social platforms, looking for affirmation about what they have posted, and fearing of not knowing the latest about another person, an Ex or lover, friends or family. By doing that, couples get caught up in the unknown and don’t live the present and enjoy the moment.

FOMO can destroy relationships; many couples argue and fight because one or both feel not appreciated and important with their significant other because the time they spend together is not well spent, and totally wasted on social media checking the likes comments, and chatting with people who are not present.


Technology can help us to strenghten our relationship and bonds with others as long as it is used wisely and in moderation. Couples need to keep in mind that to keep a healthy and sustainable relationship they need to preserve their private life, especially with their partner, and have faith and trust.

Enjoy every moment together and no need to get affirmation from everyone else on the web on your activities and your relationship.

Getting more likes, comments and reactions doesn’t mean that you are more in love is not an indication for your relationship health. Your actions and care toward your loved one is what keeps it healthy and strong. Preserve it.

Top Tips to Build Trust in a Relationship

Anything with a strong and healthy foundation will last longer, and that is the case of a relationship. Trust is one of the building blocks of the relationship, and as the title says, trust is built/earned, from day one how the couples interact and set terms and deal with each other that trust is being built.

Build trust in a relationship by starting to trust yourself, and your loved one, respect their choices and show them that you honor your commitment toward one another, their choices, ideas and point of views.

We have to keep in mind that when we say “trust”, we don’t always refer to the sexual terms between the couples; trust is to be faithful sexually and emotionally, while respecting and loving each other without any ulterior motives.

Start by Being and Staying Faithful

Without faithfulness and loyalty the relationship will deteriorate quickly and becomes more and more unbearable for the couples. Being faithful to your significant other is essential to build up the relationship on all levels. When you are in a relationship, you and your partner essentially commit to one another and basically say that you will be loyal and supportive to one another, not only physically, also emotionally as Drs. Evelyn and Paul Moschetta explained.

Couples has to be clear based on what stage in their relationship, to what are the boundaries of the relationship. Some of these are common sense and obvious, possibly defined by the culture of the couples and social surroundings, and others has to be clarified between the couples.

Above all, stay honest and discuss with your partner any behavior that have bothered you, and you might have considered unfaithful, while keeping and open mind toward the other point of view. Such form of healthy communication will help build the boundaries and trust in the relationship and prevent future problems.

Learn the Art of Keeping Secrets

The art of keeping secrets, that would be one of the most important points to build trust in a relationship. By keeping secrets, I don’t mean keeping secrets of each other, what I actually mean is don’t keep secrets from each other.

Remember the honesty tip being from the important tips for couples in relationship, with honesty, you have to keep your partner informed and don’t keep secrets from each other, especially ones that could and will affect your future together.

One more rule of thumb here, keep what ever secrets shared between you, a secret, respect the trust your partner gave you and honor it, and only talk about the subject if they brought it up.

Be and Stay Honest without Ulterior Motives

Honesty again, at all times keep it clean in your relationship and build on top of honesty it’s healthier and easier to maintain and honest relationship, on contrary of lies that will put stress on you and your partner and will turn your relationship to hell.

Partners have to love and be with each other for whom they are and without any ulterior motive, and you have to both trust each other that you don’t have such motive. This kind of trust is earned with honesty and with the promotion of a relationship atmosphere full of safety, security and lack of possessiveness over the other.

Communicate and Often Share

Communication must be labeled the golden rule of relationships, without proper communication, we can never interact with each other. Communication is mostly verbal as we know, yet what we tend to ignore most of the time is the non-verbal communication which is done mostly using our body language.

Couples has to always keep the channel of communication open, discuss and argue together, keeping in mind that you are both working toward the best solution and the better end result for both, you are both sailing the same ship, you cannot fight over the steering direction. And the golden rule of communication in relationships, is to do it in person for all important subjects and topics, not via text, or even phone, it has to be face to face.

Remember, most of our communication happens nonverbal, hence our opinion and point of view will not fully come across to the other person, and will not be fully understood.

Mistakes Happens, Learn to Forgive

Conflicts, misunderstandings and disagreements happens, we, human-beings, always make mistakes, we are not perfect. It is important to always stay till the end, follow through, understand each other and try to help each other across the bad times without threatening of abandoning or breaking the relationship.

Forgiveness is not easy, yet if you forgive that is a sign of power and great understanding. Accept that as you can make mistakes, your partner will. Learn to forgive and accept the apology, and move forward toward building a relationship of trust and love.

As I mentioned in the 5 Important Relationship Tips for Couples, “a couple in a relationship is like two separate steel plates touching each other, without fire/heat they cannot be welded together…


When you treat your relationship with respect and understanding, trust will follow and will grow overtime. All what you have to do is to show trust in your partner, follow through on your promises, be respectful and understanding in your disagreements, be faithful and most importantly learn to forgive often.

Trust is another way to say to your partner I love and cherish you. Trust that you can rely on you partner and your partner can rely on you. Have faith in your relationship and in your partner abilities, that will help you move forward together to a better and happy life together.

Keep an open mind and keep things positive.

5 Important Relationship Tips for Couples

One of the most discussed and talked about topics in our social world is couples relationships; how to maintain a healthy, happy and successful relationship with our significant other. There are countless advises and tips out there, and many specialists shares their recommendations, counselors stress on others, and every person that writes on the topic highlights his point of view on what are the key points for a successful relationship between couples.

In my humble opinion and based on my personal experience, I’ve come up with what I consider the 5 most important relationship tips for couples to maintain a healthy and enjoyable journey together into this wild world.

Honesty is Key

I know that “honesty” would be a tough point here, yet maintaining a high degree of honesty in the relationship is what builds up on trust and respect between the couple. We cannot ignore the fact that a level of privacy has to be maintained even when in a relationship, yet events, beliefs and topics that concerns and might affect the couple in the sense of (we), has to be shared and discussed with each other to maintain a fair level of transparency and clarity in the relationship.

In reality, life presents us with situation that might push us where this level of honesty is decreased, yet it is important to re-establish it by being honest about it at a later stage and explain what happened.

Healthy Communication

Communication between couples have various meanings and a healthy communication covers various situations and approaches. A healthy communication in my opinion requires actually listening to each other whenever there is a discussion, disagreements, or arguments.

The key word here is listening, not only hearing what they are saying, yet actually listening attentively to what is being said in words as well as in actions physically, because as you might have heard, actions speaks louder than words, and during an active discussion the persons’ physiology amplifies the actual words being said.

Accept the Ups and Downs

Every couples goes through rough times, disagreements and arguments, those are what I call ups and downs. As one dear friend of mine once described it, a couple in a relationship are like two separate steel plates touching each other, without fire/heat they cannot be welded together, and that is what the ups-and-downs are, they weld the relationship bond and make it stronger.

No couple is meant to be 100% compatible, there will always be some differences as well as similarities, just accept that fact and recognize that after every “down” there will be an “up“, and remember to always keep the respect and love for each other regardless of the problems or disagreements.

Keep in mind, you are in a ship together and you have to both push it and steer it forwards and get it past the storm.

Share Activities and Pursue your Own

While you might have some hobbies that you both share and love, there will be also some that you don’t both share interest for. That’s okay, as I mentioned previously, no couple is 100% compatible, and that applies to interests and hobbies, the important point here is to respect that.

While it is great to share some hobbies and activities together to enjoy each other company, as well as with your friends to keep that social life active and enhance the bond, it is also crucial and totally normal to have some personal hobbies and interest of your own that you can pursue.

I must stress here that respect to that fact is very important, and who knows, it is most likely that your significant other will gain interest in your hobbies with time, and share it with you.

Break the Routine

In my humble opinion this is one of the most important relationship tips for couples, always work toward identifying when you entered the routine life, and try to break it. Routine is the killer of relationships and can bit by bit turn off the candle of romance and love between couples.

With more responsibilities in life while the relationship moves forward, more pressure will build up to the point where the couple will start fading into a routine life with each other due to other priorities, like kids, work, getting more money, bills, and list goes on. That will happen and they cannot avoid it completely, yet when they recognize that fact, they can always be proactive in a sense to break the routine and light up the candle of romance in the relationship.

You ask me how to break it? well that can be done by changing sometimes some of the smallest behaviors, by doing something unexpected.

  • Go together and try a new type of food
  • Visit a new town and explore it
  • Cook her a meal (even if you are not a good cook, she will love it just for the effort)
  • Write her/him a letter and hide it for her/him to find
  • And the ideas goes on.

Brighten up that Candle

Being in a relationship is not to be taken for granted, actually couples should not take each other for granted. A love relationship has to be maintained all the time, making sure to water it and taking care of it even long after being married to make sure the smoothness of the journey and to enjoy the journey together.

The tips and advises are countless in that area, and every one has an input on it. The points I mentioned and described above, are in my opinion the most important relationship tips for couples, yet more exist and for others they might be more important.

My final though on this topic is to always keep in mind the saying “Do unto other as you would have done unto you“, so treat your significant other as you would expect him/her to treat you and everything should start falling into place.

What are your thoughts and comments on the topic? Waiting for your opinions.

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