The Love Attraction

Stepping Up Your Charm

Top Tips to Build Trust in a Relationship

Anything with a strong and healthy foundation will last longer, and that is the case of a relationship. Trust is one of the building blocks of the relationship, and as the title says, trust is built/earned, from day one how the couples interact and set terms and deal with each other that trust is being built.

Build trust in a relationship by starting to trust yourself, and your loved one, respect their choices and show them that you honor your commitment toward one another, their choices, ideas, and point of views.

We have to keep in mind that when we say “trust”, we don’t always refer to the sexual terms between the couples; trust is to be faithful sexually and emotionally while respecting and loving each other without any ulterior motives.

Start by Being and Staying Faithful

Without faithfulness and loyalty, the relationship will deteriorate quickly and becomes more and more unbearable for the couples. Being faithful to your significant other is essential to build up the relationship on all levels. When you are in a relationship, you and your partner essentially commit to one another and basically say that you will be loyal and supportive to one another, not only physically, also emotionally as Drs. Evelyn and Paul Moschetta explained.

Couples have to be clear based on what stage in their relationship, to what are the boundaries of the relationship. Some of these are common sense and obvious, possibly defined by the culture of the couples and social surroundings, and others have to be clarified between the couples.

Above all, stay honest and discuss with your partner any behavior that has bothered you, and you might have considered unfaithful while keeping an open mind toward the other point of view. Such form of healthy communication will help build the boundaries and trust in the relationship and prevent future problems.

Learn the Art of Keeping Secrets

The art of keeping secrets, that would be one of the most important points to build trust in a relationship. By keeping secrets, I don’t mean keeping secrets of each other, what I actually mean is don’t keep secrets from each other.

Remember the honesty tip being from the important tips for couples in a relationship, with honesty, you have to keep your partner informed and don’t keep secrets from each other, especially ones that could and will affect your future together.

One more rule of thumb here, keep whatever secrets shared between you, a secret, respect the trust your partner gave you and honor it, and only talk about the subject if they brought it up.

Be and Stay Honest without Ulterior Motives

Honesty again, at all times keep it clean in your relationship and build on top of honesty it’s healthier and easier to maintain and honest relationship, on contrary of lies that will put stress on you and your partner and will turn your relationship to hell.

Partners have to love and be with each other for whom they are and without any ulterior motive, and you have to both trust each other that you don’t have such a motive. This kind of trust is earned with honesty and with the promotion of a relationship atmosphere full of safety, security, and lack of possessiveness over the other.

Communicate and Often Share

Communication must be labeled the golden rule of relationships, without proper communication, we can never interact with each other. Communication is mostly verbal as we know, yet what we tend to ignore most of the time is the non-verbal communication which is done mostly using our body language.

Couples have to always keep the channel of communication open, discuss and argue together, keeping in mind that you are both working toward the best solution and the better end result for both, you are both sailing the same ship, you cannot fight over the steering direction. And the golden rule of communication in relationships is to do it in person for all important subjects and topics, not via text, or even phone, it has to be face to face.

Remember, most of our communication happens nonverbal, hence our opinion and point of view will not fully come across to the other person, and will not be fully understood.

Mistakes Happen, Learn to Forgive

Conflicts, misunderstandings, and disagreements happen, we, human-beings, always make mistakes, we are not perfect. It is important to always stay till the end, follow through, understand each other and try to help each other across the bad times without threatening of abandoning or breaking the relationship.

Forgiveness is not easy, yet if you forgive that is a sign of power and great understanding. Accept that as you can make mistakes, your partner will. Learn to forgive and accept the apology, and move forward toward building a relationship of trust and love.

As I mentioned in the 5 Important Relationship Tips for Couples, “a couple in a relationship is like two separate steel plates touching each other, without fire/heat they cannot be welded together…

Conclusion

When you treat your relationship with respect and understanding, the trust will follow and will grow over time. All that you have to do is to show trust in your partner, follow through on your promises, be respectful and understanding in your disagreements, be faithful and most importantly learn to forgive often.

Trust is another way to say to your partner I love and cherish you. Trust that you can rely on your partner and your partner can rely on you. Have faith in your relationship and in your partner abilities, that will help you move forward together to a better and happy life together.

Keep an open mind and keep things positive.

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18 Comments

  1. Trust is so important in any relationship, be it with our significant other, work relationships and social relationships. True unconditional love can only be shared if we trust and respect each other. As you say, we all make mistakes at times…… but a mistake is doing something contrary to what the other person wants, so forgiveness needs to work both ways.
    The ultimate form of trust is to allow our loved ones to be free to be themselves. Then it is up to us whether we want to remain with them in a relationship or not. When they have the freedom to be themselves we actually get to see who they really are. This is a gift for us.
    Thanks for sharing.

    • Salim

      Andrew, Thank you for your input. You pointed to a very important subject in any relationship and that is freedom. When that freedom is taken from any person, nothing will be healthy and working properly in any relationship. Unfortunately, possessiveness in the relationship and trying to change the nature of the other person creates problems and leads to a breakup, divorce, etc…
      I believe freedom should be added as a form of trust in the relationship.

  2. Thank you for a very helpful article. I do find your tips here is more than just for a couple relationship. It is very useful for any type of relationship.

    And I am grateful for finding your article and receiving these tips. They come at a perfect timing. I have just started a relationship, and these tips will come in useful.

    I particularly like the one about Communication and Forgiving. To me, communication is very important in a relationship. And it does help to build and grow the relationship well.

    And of course, Forgiveness is crucial. I must admit that I had not been good at this in the past. Your tip on this will help me now.

    Once again, thank you.

    • Salim

      Thank you for sharing Timitheus, I am glad that the article was helpful. As you said Forgiveness is crucial and tricky at the same time, it is in both ways as Andrew said in his comment. You cannot forgive randomly and directly without even discussing the issue first hand, agreeing on how to prevent/minimize it in the future and being sincere about being sorry.

  3. Yahya

    Thank you for sharing, these are very helpful tips.
    Do you have any tips on dealing with your partner’s social media? To explain better, I’m a jealous partner, something I cannot help to control sometimes. My partner is approached very often through social media and responds to these engagement attempts from strangers. Even if the response is harmless, I cannot help but feel it is a red flag that I should monitor closely.
    Now I don’t know if this is my paranoia, or if it is a sense of insecurity that I’m unconsciously experiencing, or if I’m right to be skeptical about this sort of behavior. What’s the best way to handle this scenario, given the fact that I’ve already voiced my opinion to my partner?

    • Salim

      Hello Yahya, thank you for sharing your personal experience. I have to note that what my comment and article here represents my personal opinion and experience on the subject.
      From my point of view, I would say that too much jealousy can poison a relationship, everyone has a bit of jealousy over his partner, yet too much of it is not good. How to work on this? well, trust is your first point here, you should have some faith and trust your partner if she loves you and you truly have a strong bond together, trust in her fidelity. Now on a second hand, honesty will also contemplate trust, I strongly recommend that you sit down together and be honest about the subject and how you feel about it. Sharing and communicating your concerns and emotions is what actually solves them, keeping it inside you without discussing it will only get things worse and causes the paranoia to increase.
      I hope that I did help you here,
      Have some faith and trust my friend.

  4. Laina

    This is really an informative post. As partners we need to trust each other and go beyond trust. That means that we should always and by all means to protect each others’ interests. We should do away with dishonest and unfaithfulness. These thing may hurt our loved ones and my cause destruction.

    Laina

    • Salim

      I agree with you Laina, when in a relationship, one should protect their partner’s interest as if it was his own, treat them as they would love to be treated. Once that rule is not considered, failures and destructions to follow.

      Salim

  5. Rodarrick

    Wow! I know that not only me have benefited from what you have shared and I can only spare good words for you because you have hit the nail on the head. The tips you shared here are all great so far there’s seriousness attached to adhering to them. The place of communication, respect, sharing secrets and so much more cannot be overlooked to ensure that the relationship lasts for longer. Thanks

    • Salim

      Indeed Rodger, as long as there’s seriousness attached to adhering to such tips, couples can have a magical relationship. It has to be their will to do so, actually as Tony Robins puts it, it has to be their “must” to do so. In the end who wouldn’t want a happy and loving relationship?

  6. jessetoikkanen

    Nice article about top tips to build trust in a relationship I would say! I fully agree it is one of the most critical and fundamental pieces or building blocks of the relationship and it definitely starts by trusting yourself. In my opinion trust, respect and love forms sort of triangle of love, whether its about marriage, mom-son relationship or whatever, its the base foundation of all sort of relationships. I have been trying to improve my mindset by being more faithful, whether facing easy or hard times and it definitely makes everything easier in terms of relationships. 

    • Salim

      Jesse, you perfectly described it in your words, “trust, respect and love forms sort of triangle of love”. There should be a balance between those three for a happy, balanced and enjoyable relationship.

  7. Abbas

    Trust is indeed very important for relationships. It has made my marriage grow much stronger and not only with my wife but my children and friends. These tips that you pointed out are very important and I will keep all of them in mind. I have seen many people fall from not trusting one another. Either they break or they stay together and not happy. I hope this article is read by more and find out how important it is.

    • Salim

      Abbas, indeed trust is very important, yet due to our social surroundings and wealth of information and access we have, it became harder and harder to give and obtain. And the harder it gets is when it is broken. In my opinion, in a relationship has to be mutually given and proven with time, and with time it will become stronger and stronger.

  8. MMainstone

    This is such a good post. Having been married for quite a few decades, I found myself reviewing this post from a practical point of view. I can relate to it so much that I began to wonder how old Salim might be – such wise words! For me, the advice is spot on and very informative. For what it’s worth, I would say to anyone just starting out, to live their married lives based on the teachings in this post. 

    • Salim

      I appreciate your comment @MMainstone, and you reviewing the post from a practical point of view. While sometimes we know when a piece of advice is a good one, I still do find myself and others fall to a point where we find it hard at moments to apply such recommendations. On a personal level, I try to always keep those in mind and remind myself to apply and live them in my relationship, to the extent they became natural to me if I can say.

      Cheers

      Salim

  9. Taetske

    Good afternoon Salim,

    This is a nice and thoughtful post and I agree with your writings.

    Trust is so important as otherwise, a relationship cannot function. You cannot be on top of each other 24 hours a day, each partner needs its free space. If you cannot trust your partner it can be very frustrating even affecting your health. Having negative thoughts, starting to doubt, all this will make the relationship toxic.

    Faithfulness is important as not being faithful one loses the trust your partner has in you. One starts to find excuses and that is the beginning of the end.

    Keeping secrets to yourself is not a good idea. It will also break the trust you have in your partner.

    Being honest is ever so important. I personally like to be very straightforward. If I cannot say the truth I rather shut up. Of course being diplomatic does not harm as you do not want your partner to be offended.

    Talking to each other on a daily basis is very important. When there is no communication it will  break a relationship.

    We should all learn to be more forgiving of mistakes our partner makes and at the same time forgive ourself. It will bring back the balance and harmony which is needed to be happy together.

    Regards, Taetske

    • Salim

      Hello Tartske,

      Thank you for your thoughtful comment, I totally agree that free space in a relationship is very important, at the end you still have your friends and family and your “alone” time to enjoy and have. Without that, a person can go insane.

      Definitely, communication is the basis of every relationship, unfortunately, many talk and speak but still don’t know how to communicate.

      Have a lovely day,

      Salim

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